Bad Days Happen

Bad days happen. Are you dealing with chronic illness, stress that won't quit, loss of income...chronic anything? I am too. Some of the ways I try to deal with my chronic illness is to live in today, be grateful for what I have, and seek the positive stuff in my life. But today...just had to be a sad one.


Maybe you can relate. I chose that I would quit saying "my old life" and "my new life" because it kept be in this constant state of greif...remembering what I had and all I have lost. But that isn't the whole truth. I have a lot now that I didn't have before. I have a less stressful schedule, I have more time for my family, I have amazing friends and family who have seen me through and shown me love in touching ways. I know God better and I've let Him in closer. That is priceless.

Although I try to focus on the positive, the past hit me hard today. I saw my old work website which I had let expire. Someone else has snatched it up. I am erased. I had an email conversation with a friend; a friendship that has now died. Life had to be all about her and when you have a chronic illness, you can no longer feed those kind of egos. It is just too tiring and the weight too heavy. I see my old colleagues on Facebook and clients out in the real world. I miss my work so much is aches. Today I feel useless even though I know I am not. I want to get out and work again and from my current vantage point, it feels I never will.

I started this blog to encourage people with chronic illness or other chronic issues. I debated about this "downer" of an entry, but you know what? It is a part of life with chronic illness. Bad days happen. Grief comes in waves. Sadness and letting go are a part of the process. Today was my day.


As I prepare to go to bed, my last thought for both you and me will be that God's mercies are new every morning and in just a few hours, it will be morning again.